Enhancing Empathy, Resisting Shame
One of my favourite influencers is Brene Brown. Brene is well known for her research surrounding Shame, Guilt, Vulnerability and Empathy. Her perspective has excellent insights into me as a leader, parent, educator, business owner and community member.
Shaming is a word we have heard often throughout the pandemic. If asked, most of us would agree it is far better to be empathetic than shameful. Undoubtedly, it is easy to choose Empathy vs Shame, and yet do we really know the difference between the two and how they show up in our daily lives?
Shame, in itself, is not a helpful tool for change and can lead to resentment. Shame encourages mistakes, can harm others, and manifests itself in secrecy, silence, and judgment, leading to disconnection.
SECRECY INTENSIFIES SHAME, SO IT GROWS BIGGER AND BIGGER
SILENCE IS DEBILITATING AND CREATES ISOLATION
JUDGEMENT IS TOXIC AND RESULTS IN NEGATIVITY AND INEFFECTIVE PERCEPTIONS.
I think we would all instead choose a shame-resilient life!
And what the world needs now is unity and connection!
Brene Brown suggests that the best way to avoid a shame spiral in your community or business is not to let it grow! She asserts that Empathy and Shame are on opposite sides of a continuum. So if Shame shows up with these undesirable results, what does Empathy result in?
"Empathy is the most powerful antidote to shame" - Brene Brown.
Cultivated by courage, compassion and connection, Simply put, Empathy is the ultimate resistance to shame showing up, disallowing the festering and growing in negative ways throughout your relationships and your life.
What does this look like in our homes, businesses and communities? Using Brene's four qualities of Empathy, this attribute can be a game-changer to an authentic, caring community.
PERSPECTIVE-TAKING
The ability to take someone else's perspective and recognize their view as truth is not always easy. The way we digest new regulations and restrictions from the government can impact a trickle effect that is either negative or positive.
AVOIDING JUDGMENTS
Judgments cloud clarity. Judging is a breeding ground for toxicity that can result in gossip, dismissiveness or shifting into a negative mindset. And sadly, once that starts, it isn't easy to recover.
RECOGNIZING EMOTION IN ANOTHER PERSON
Similarly, recognizing how our actions are affecting another person is the birthplace of Empathy. When individuals intentionally consider the emotion and experience another is feeling, it can transcend understanding that is otherwise challenging to find.
COMMUNICATING AND UNDERSTANDING
Communicating your awareness and ensuring a desire to understand is the bridge to connection. Talk to each other, and authentically discuss and engage with your neighbours, family and friends to build open lines of transparent and non-judgemental communication.
Infusing more Empathy is the cure for the destructive behaviour of Shame. When we can question how our actions affect others, it can lead us to deep and genuine Empathy. And we can all use that right about now.
Love your view,